Criticism

I love this quote by Henry Blackaby, in his book Spiritual Leadership:

"Criticism has its most devastating effect upon the immature and the unsure."

How true this is! At times, I've been guilty of the IMMATURE part, without a doubt. When I carry my feelings on my shoulder, it's easy for one challenging word from a friend to offend me, wound me, or knock me off course. That happens all too often when I am not actively growing in my relationship with Christ. I get it.

But the second one hits even closer to home: UNSURE. To the leader who is prone to be a people-pleaser, criticism can be devastating (as Blackaby says). You want so badly for people to follow you, respect you, love you, come to your church, read your book, and so on... So, as long as that stuff matters to you, you're at the mercy of the feedback. If they're happy, you're happy. You need the praise to affirm yourself. You long for the compliments, for without them, you are left with a bunch of "what ifs"...

What if they leave?
What if they stop giving?
What if they don't believe in me anymore?
What if our relationship changes because of this conflict?
What if I'm wrong about this decision, after all?
What if I'm about to blow it?
What if our church collapses?
...Ceases to exist?
...Falls off the face of the earth?!?

But the real question should always be, "What did God say to me?" If I know that, I can lead well. And if I don't know what He's saying, I better find out! Whatever it takes. And until then, whatever the crowd says is meaningless--good or bad. Praise or criticism.

Maybe Solomon said it best, "Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you."(Proverbs 9:8)