My wedding day was June 18, 1994. On that date, I officially became a married man. We held the ceremony. We tied the knot. We said, "I do." We have a certificate to prove it (as well as 4 kids, 2 dogs, and a mortgage...but those are for another post). June 18th was a very significant day for Michele and me, but it marks neither the beginning nor the end of our relationship.
The date our relationship truly began was March 26, 1992. That was the night I met this beautiful girl from Beggs, Oklahoma in a Whataburger in Waxahachie, Texas. She was wearing a blue denim shirt with a Mickey Mouse sequin tie. That was when I first saw her green & brown eyes up close & personal. That was when I saw her smile. That was when I found out she loved Jesus, loved basketball, and loved Larry Bird. (It was the trifecta I had spent my life looking for!)
From that night on, I pursued a relationship with her. I wrote letters (remember those days?). I stood at a pay phone in a dorm hallway with a pocket full of quarters, hoping time would stand still for just a few more minutes. I sent cards, gifts, flowers. It was long-distance relationship for the first few months, so I planned trips to Oklahoma as often as I could. And somewhere along the way, this "like" turned to "love" and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
Eventually, there came a ring and a question. Then, a Yes. Later on, there was a wedding...and a honeymoon. A few years later, there came one baby, and then another, then another, and finally one more. All in pink, no blue.
The family grew.
The waistline grew.
And all the while, the RELATIONSHIP grew.
But along the way, I've learned a valuable truth: My relationship with my wife is at its best when I continue to PURSUE her. She's already "mine," right, so why pursue something I've already caught? Wrong! If I want our relationship to keep growing, I must pursue her heart. July 18, 1994 was a great day, but what about August 2, 2011? The wedding day is gone, but TODAY is a new chance to love her. I don't value the contract, I value the intimacy. I don't value the certificate, I value the marriage. And it's still up to me to pursue the relationship with the woman I love.
I am finding this same principle applies to my relationship with Jesus. I remember some "good times" we've had. The day I first trusted Him for salvation. The day I was filled with the Holy Spirit. The day I sensed a call to preach. Many other highlights jump out at me during our long-lasting relationship, thus far. But if I want this relationship to keep growing, it's still up to me to pursue Him.
He says, "Seek me, and you will find me."
He says, "Draw near to me, and I will draw near to you."
He says, "Fix your eyes on me."
My relationship is over three decades old (going on four), but what really matters is TODAY. If I will pursue a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus through daily prayer, meditation, reading the Bible, He will fill every longing of my heart. If not, I am left with "RELIGION"...and who really wants more of that?!?
Try this today, and see what happens:
A thoughtful deed for your spouse, and a prayerful moment with Jesus.
And watch both relationships grow deeper, right in front of your eyes!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Love, Acceptance & Forgiveness
Lately, it seems I am spending a lot of time thinking about GRACE. It's such a common word that perhaps we don't often stop to fully examine its meaning. (neither will attempt to fully define it in this post, so don't worry...) For now, let me just point out that all of us are sinners, both by nature and by nurture, and that we need our sins to be removed/forgiven in order to have relationship with the holy God.
In Ephesians 2:8, we learn that salvation comes "by grace through faith, not by works, so that no one can boast." In other words, what we couldn't do on our own, Jesus did for us by his death & resurrection. Here's the key: GRACE cannot be earned. It is a GIFT. I'm not worthy of it, I don't deserve it, and I can't work for it.
The problem, however, is that although we all want to RECEIVE grace, we often have a hard time GIVING grace to others. Especially those who have hurt us. Those who have failed us. Those who are different from us. We just have a hard time loving them unconditionally, accepting them as they are, and forgiving them when they fall.
Recently, I read a book by Jerry Cook that made these 3 simple, but powerful, statements. Together, they sum up what GRACE is all about, particularly the grace we are called to extend to others:
LOVE is not license.
ACCEPTANCE is not agreement.
FORGIVENESS is not compromise.
Once we can get past the fears of "lowering our standards" or "compromising our beliefs," we'll realize that God's GRACE is bigger than our small ideas about righteousness. This world is a mess. People are broken. What they need is NOT religion -- they need Jesus. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That's good news for me, so it should apply to my neighbor as well, right? So why would we ask others to "straighten up" BEFORE we will love and accept them?
They don't need a lecture. They need God's GRACE...and He wants you to give it.
In Ephesians 2:8, we learn that salvation comes "by grace through faith, not by works, so that no one can boast." In other words, what we couldn't do on our own, Jesus did for us by his death & resurrection. Here's the key: GRACE cannot be earned. It is a GIFT. I'm not worthy of it, I don't deserve it, and I can't work for it.
The problem, however, is that although we all want to RECEIVE grace, we often have a hard time GIVING grace to others. Especially those who have hurt us. Those who have failed us. Those who are different from us. We just have a hard time loving them unconditionally, accepting them as they are, and forgiving them when they fall.
Recently, I read a book by Jerry Cook that made these 3 simple, but powerful, statements. Together, they sum up what GRACE is all about, particularly the grace we are called to extend to others:
LOVE is not license.
ACCEPTANCE is not agreement.
FORGIVENESS is not compromise.
Once we can get past the fears of "lowering our standards" or "compromising our beliefs," we'll realize that God's GRACE is bigger than our small ideas about righteousness. This world is a mess. People are broken. What they need is NOT religion -- they need Jesus. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That's good news for me, so it should apply to my neighbor as well, right? So why would we ask others to "straighten up" BEFORE we will love and accept them?
They don't need a lecture. They need God's GRACE...and He wants you to give it.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Can I change?
At BCC, we speak with conviction about "changed lives," because after all, it's a pretty obvious truth in Scripture. Just take 2 Corinthians 5:17 for example: "If anyone be in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things are passed away, and all things are made new." Kind of hard to miss, isnt it? God sent his Son to change lives. Jesus died & rose again for changed lives. The Holy Spirit guides & empowers changed lives. Changed lives are the goal for any church, any ministry, any believer.
But what about me? I sometimes wonder, "Am I changed?" (or at least change-ING...?) I confess that I often ask this question. At times, the answer seems like an easy YES, but that's usually after a few good days of disciplined Bible reading, praying, and sin-avoidance. You know the feeling...it's like you're finally starting to figure this thing out. Finally learning to ride a bike better. Almost ready to take off the training wheels. Look mom, no hands!
Then just when I least expect it...I hit a rock, blow out a tire, and crash. Never saw it coming. I pick myself up, wipe off the dirt, and climb back on the bike. Good as new, right? Wrong! Nope, this time, the failure leaves a bruise -- and I'm left disappointed, discouraged, depleted... During these times, the answer seems like a resounding NO. Me, changed?!? Nope, it's just the same old me making the same old mistakes. Can you relate? Trust me, you're not alone.
But don't be fooled. There's more to life change than just stringing together more good days than bad ones. Life change is about a relationship with Jesus. Your "new life" is NEW because of what He did, not what you're trying to do better. Jesus changes lives. He's changed mine. And He can change yours.
If you're trying to do it on your own, well...good luck with that.
But what about me? I sometimes wonder, "Am I changed?" (or at least change-ING...?) I confess that I often ask this question. At times, the answer seems like an easy YES, but that's usually after a few good days of disciplined Bible reading, praying, and sin-avoidance. You know the feeling...it's like you're finally starting to figure this thing out. Finally learning to ride a bike better. Almost ready to take off the training wheels. Look mom, no hands!
Then just when I least expect it...I hit a rock, blow out a tire, and crash. Never saw it coming. I pick myself up, wipe off the dirt, and climb back on the bike. Good as new, right? Wrong! Nope, this time, the failure leaves a bruise -- and I'm left disappointed, discouraged, depleted... During these times, the answer seems like a resounding NO. Me, changed?!? Nope, it's just the same old me making the same old mistakes. Can you relate? Trust me, you're not alone.
But don't be fooled. There's more to life change than just stringing together more good days than bad ones. Life change is about a relationship with Jesus. Your "new life" is NEW because of what He did, not what you're trying to do better. Jesus changes lives. He's changed mine. And He can change yours.
If you're trying to do it on your own, well...good luck with that.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Blind Spots
Everybody has blind spots. That should be no surprise to you. The real question is, do you know what they are? Chances are you don't. That's why they're called "blind" spots. My quick temper that wounds the hearts of my kids. My dry sarcasm that's not really funny after all. My bad breath. My body odor. That piece of hair sticking up in the back of my head. Those sneaky extra pounds gathering around my waistline. (I always blame the dryer for shrinking my pants...). Often these things are clearly evident to those around me...so why am I always the last to know?
Because I don't want to see them.
As Jack Nicholson's character shouted in A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth!" I believe it is our human nature to deceive ourselves. We want to think the best of ourselves. We forgive our own mistakes easily. We give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. We know what we meant to say...
But what if my version of reality is actually wrong? More importantly, what if my assessment of my own spiritual life is wrong? If I really got honest, it might hurt too much...
On Sunday, I began a new series called, "Let's Get Real." The primary text for the series is 2 Corinthians 13:5, "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test?" We'll be spending the next few weeks getting honest about our spiritual growth (or the lack thereof). The goal is for each person at BCC to recommit themselves, not only to spiritual disciplines such as prayer, Bible study, stewardship, and service, but also to new personal relationship with Jesus!
What are the blind spots the Holy Spirit is revealing in your life? What are you doing to change in those areas?
Because I don't want to see them.
As Jack Nicholson's character shouted in A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth!" I believe it is our human nature to deceive ourselves. We want to think the best of ourselves. We forgive our own mistakes easily. We give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. We know what we meant to say...
But what if my version of reality is actually wrong? More importantly, what if my assessment of my own spiritual life is wrong? If I really got honest, it might hurt too much...
On Sunday, I began a new series called, "Let's Get Real." The primary text for the series is 2 Corinthians 13:5, "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test?" We'll be spending the next few weeks getting honest about our spiritual growth (or the lack thereof). The goal is for each person at BCC to recommit themselves, not only to spiritual disciplines such as prayer, Bible study, stewardship, and service, but also to new personal relationship with Jesus!
What are the blind spots the Holy Spirit is revealing in your life? What are you doing to change in those areas?
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 -- Year in Review
Ok, so I have a confession to make. I am a sucker for all those year-end TV programs that highlight the best and worst of 2010. It really doesn't matter the subject -- sports highlights, news stories, movie reviews, political developments...even all those sad, celebrity marriage break-ups -- put together a Top 10 List, and I'm yours.
Why? I guess I'm just fascinated by the passing of time. There's always a sense of awe with how much can happen in 365 days. So before I launch into 2011, I wanted to spend some time making my own list of memories from 2010. The list is a combination of both personal and church family memories, and they're in no particular order. So, here goes...
1. Madelyn learning to walk. It was our fourth (and final?) time to watch, and it's been awesome every time!
2. Going on a Caribbean cruise with my whole family (including my wife & girls, and also my parents and aunt/uncle).
3. Playing early-morning pick-up basketball games with the CEO of 24-Hr. Fitness. (Thanks for the invitation, Justin. Sorry you had to watch me from the sidelines most of the morning...)
4. The SNOW DAY in Austin!!! It was so awesome to have snowball fights and take my girls sledding in an ice chest. Those were some of the biggest flakes I've ever seen...not just in Texas, but anywhere!
5. Having the incredible honor of speaking at Melba Parker's funeral service. This dear saint is dearly missed, but her life was lived to the fullest for the glory of God and the love of her family. Thank you, John, for the privilege.
6. Meeting Jason & Kim Nichols, and having a front row seat to watch Jesus changing their lives!
7. Our mission trip to Haiti in September. I was so glad that both Madison and Macy were able to go this time. I'll never forget preaching in the Mission of Hope church, and getting to experience the waterfall up in the mountains. Haiti is a breathtaking place!
8. The Amazing Race couples night w/ BCC family. We had a memorable evening with the race, alone, but the THREE speeding tickets made sure the night would forever live in infamy! Unbelievable!
9. Ruben is finally here!! On Sunday December 19th, he flew in from Haiti and surprised me by walking up to me in the parking lot after church. I was stunned! But Michele's reaction was even better... We're so glad you're here, Ruben (but not as glad as Amy!). Welcome to Texas!
10. The "Leave Your Mark" campaign. (From the first vision meeting in our living room, to the leadership banquet, to the commitment service -- it was exciting to see God taking all of us on a faith journey together. The best is yet to come...)
Well, as with all of these lists, I'm sure I've left someone or something out...but this is good, for starters. I would love to hear your feedback on my list, or better yet, tell me yours! The key to looking back on the year is to reflect on God's faithfulness. All too often, we let the stress of today and the preoccupation with tomorrow crowd out the blessings of yesterday. God is so good!
So, what are YOUR memories of 2010?
Why? I guess I'm just fascinated by the passing of time. There's always a sense of awe with how much can happen in 365 days. So before I launch into 2011, I wanted to spend some time making my own list of memories from 2010. The list is a combination of both personal and church family memories, and they're in no particular order. So, here goes...
1. Madelyn learning to walk. It was our fourth (and final?) time to watch, and it's been awesome every time!
2. Going on a Caribbean cruise with my whole family (including my wife & girls, and also my parents and aunt/uncle).
3. Playing early-morning pick-up basketball games with the CEO of 24-Hr. Fitness. (Thanks for the invitation, Justin. Sorry you had to watch me from the sidelines most of the morning...)
4. The SNOW DAY in Austin!!! It was so awesome to have snowball fights and take my girls sledding in an ice chest. Those were some of the biggest flakes I've ever seen...not just in Texas, but anywhere!
5. Having the incredible honor of speaking at Melba Parker's funeral service. This dear saint is dearly missed, but her life was lived to the fullest for the glory of God and the love of her family. Thank you, John, for the privilege.
6. Meeting Jason & Kim Nichols, and having a front row seat to watch Jesus changing their lives!
7. Our mission trip to Haiti in September. I was so glad that both Madison and Macy were able to go this time. I'll never forget preaching in the Mission of Hope church, and getting to experience the waterfall up in the mountains. Haiti is a breathtaking place!
8. The Amazing Race couples night w/ BCC family. We had a memorable evening with the race, alone, but the THREE speeding tickets made sure the night would forever live in infamy! Unbelievable!
9. Ruben is finally here!! On Sunday December 19th, he flew in from Haiti and surprised me by walking up to me in the parking lot after church. I was stunned! But Michele's reaction was even better... We're so glad you're here, Ruben (but not as glad as Amy!). Welcome to Texas!
10. The "Leave Your Mark" campaign. (From the first vision meeting in our living room, to the leadership banquet, to the commitment service -- it was exciting to see God taking all of us on a faith journey together. The best is yet to come...)
Well, as with all of these lists, I'm sure I've left someone or something out...but this is good, for starters. I would love to hear your feedback on my list, or better yet, tell me yours! The key to looking back on the year is to reflect on God's faithfulness. All too often, we let the stress of today and the preoccupation with tomorrow crowd out the blessings of yesterday. God is so good!
So, what are YOUR memories of 2010?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
How to Give at Christmas
For most of us, Christmas means time with family, good food, crazy light decorations and opening presents. Let's be honest: The majority of Americans love to unwrap gifts on Christmas morning. But what would your holiday season be like if you didn't focus so much on the gifts you get, and instead focused on the gifts you give?
Recently, I found this article by Dave Ramsey (author of Financial Peace), challenging all of us to give like no one else. So what does that mean? It means you need to get out of your comfort zone, think outside the box, and find ways to bless others. Whether you give some money to help a needy family with bills or give your time and energy to a shut-in, there are plenty of ways you can give like no else this Christmas.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
1.Buy several winter jackets at a discount retail store and deliver them to the homeless in your community.
2.Pay the power bill for a family who is struggling financially.
3.Purchase a restaurant gift card for a young couple who are new parents, and offer to babysit their kiddo for free.
4.When checking out at the grocery store, hand the cashier some cash and tell her you want to pay for a needy family's groceries.
5.Take a single mom on a Christmas shopping spree for her kids.
6.Clean the home of a shut-in and cook for them. Stay and chat with them over dinner.
7.Bless your pastor with a Christmas card or gift.
8.Call your church and ask them if they know a family in need of gifts this year. Then, purchase a gift for each family member and drop it off at their doorstep on Christmas Eve.
9.Shovel snow, rake leaves, or pick weeds for an elderly couple in or near your neighborhood.
10.Next time you fill up your gas tank, give the clerk $50 and tell him you want to pay for someone else's gas bill.
There are all kinds of ways that you can give like no one else this Christmas, so get busy! Hopefully, this list helped you brainstorm a few ideas of your own!
Recently, I found this article by Dave Ramsey (author of Financial Peace), challenging all of us to give like no one else. So what does that mean? It means you need to get out of your comfort zone, think outside the box, and find ways to bless others. Whether you give some money to help a needy family with bills or give your time and energy to a shut-in, there are plenty of ways you can give like no else this Christmas.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
1.Buy several winter jackets at a discount retail store and deliver them to the homeless in your community.
2.Pay the power bill for a family who is struggling financially.
3.Purchase a restaurant gift card for a young couple who are new parents, and offer to babysit their kiddo for free.
4.When checking out at the grocery store, hand the cashier some cash and tell her you want to pay for a needy family's groceries.
5.Take a single mom on a Christmas shopping spree for her kids.
6.Clean the home of a shut-in and cook for them. Stay and chat with them over dinner.
7.Bless your pastor with a Christmas card or gift.
8.Call your church and ask them if they know a family in need of gifts this year. Then, purchase a gift for each family member and drop it off at their doorstep on Christmas Eve.
9.Shovel snow, rake leaves, or pick weeds for an elderly couple in or near your neighborhood.
10.Next time you fill up your gas tank, give the clerk $50 and tell him you want to pay for someone else's gas bill.
There are all kinds of ways that you can give like no one else this Christmas, so get busy! Hopefully, this list helped you brainstorm a few ideas of your own!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Never Give Up
I was reading tonight and came across the story of Admiral James Stockdale, the highest-ranking US officer taken prisoner in Vietnam. During 8 years as a hostage, he was tortured regularly, and had no reason to think he would ever be released or see his family again. Yet despite his horrific circumstances, Stockdale became a beacon of hope for other prisoners in the camp. He developed secret methods of communication to fight effects of isolation, and taught other prisoners how to create coping mechanisms to deal with the enemy's torture tactics. In short, he kept faith alive in a situation where most people would have long since let it die.
According to Stockdale, what separates people is not the presence or absence of difficulty, but how they deal with the inevitable difficulties of life. His own life experience confirms the powerful belief that one can actually come back from difficulties STRONGER, not weaker.
The Stockdale Paradox states that "in every circumstance, you must retain faith that you will prevail in the end regardless of the difficulties and, at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality...whatever they might be."
According to Stockdale, what separates people is not the presence or absence of difficulty, but how they deal with the inevitable difficulties of life. His own life experience confirms the powerful belief that one can actually come back from difficulties STRONGER, not weaker.
The Stockdale Paradox states that "in every circumstance, you must retain faith that you will prevail in the end regardless of the difficulties and, at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality...whatever they might be."
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